- 23 Apr 2009
When Carol Haas was 17 years old, she began forcing herself to vomit after meals in a desperate and dangerous attempt to slim down. At 5 foot 8 and 160 pounds, the high-school athlete was hardly obese. But her self-image had taken such a beating as a result of a lifetime of painful personal problems that she became fixated on her weight.
So began a 20-year struggle with eating disorders that dragged Carol through episodes of anorexia, bingeing and purging, excessive dieting, and compulsive exercising. “I felt awful about myself and what I was doing,” says the 57-year-old Downingtown, Pennsylvania, resident. “But I couldn’t stop myself. I was out of control. I was determined to not be fat, regardless of the price I paid.” I
It took the demise of a troubled first marriage, and the understanding and concern of the man who would become her second husband, to finally free Carol from the eating disorders that had plagued her for so long. With encouragement from her new partner, jshe sought counseling to help her deal with the issues that had skewed her self-image and her attitude toward food and eating.
Through her counseling sessions, Carol came to understand the reasons for her eating disorder. She learned that she had to take control of her eating habits rather than let them control her. She gradually adapted to eating three healthy meals a day and exercising regularly—not compulsively.
“During my recovery, one of the most important things I did was allow myself foods that I had always considered off-limits,” Carol says. “That empowered me because I realized I could choose what to eat and what not to eat.
“There’s dignity in choice,” she adds. “It explodes self-imposed boundaries. It puts you in charge. It gives you freedom and power over food. For someone with an eating disorder, that’s a life-altering and often lifesaving revelation.”
It certainly had a profound impact on Carol. As she made peace with food, her self-image improved. She began to heal, physically and emotionally. And, to her pleasant surprise, she lost 20 pounds over the course of 2 years.
A few years later, in the mid-1980s, Carol enrolled in college to earn certification as an eating disorders counselor. “I was so grateful for my own recovery that I wanted to help others,” she explains.
“My life changed dramatically when I finally stopped my power struggle with food,” Carol says. “I was able to focus on being healthy instead of on what I was or wasn’t eating. That has made all the difference.”
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- Category: Weight Loss